Have you ever read a book and in the middle of a page you just look up for a minute and thing, “Finally. Someone gets it.” That’s how I felt (many times) when I was reading Jen Sincero’s book, You Are a Badass.
There are a lot of stand-out paragraphs in this book, but one of the resounding themes that kept leaping off each page to me was about realizing how great you truly are, and looking for all the ways in which you shine. I mean.. let’s be honest. That’s not something we really do on a daily basis, unless you’re a narcissist, and I’m guessing that the vast majority of you reading this right now aren’t really too narcissistic.
In the middle of the page, page 63 I think – to be exact, Jen simply tells us that, “Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life.”
Whoa. Like, seriously. That’s a pretty true statement, isn’t it?
Think about it for a minute. If you’re anything like me, and I pray you’re not because I am utterly exhausting; you may spend a lot of time in your head. Lord knows I do. OR, a lot of time scrolling the ‘gram and feeling like you just can’t compete. Although – why should we be competing? We shouldn’t. That’s the takeaway.
I can be trucking along, minding my own business, when WHAM. Did you see what so-and-so is doing? Did you see her new shoes? Did you hear about her promotion? Can you believe how great she looks?
It doesn’t matter what it is, but I can find myself stopping and forgetting every success I have ever had or everything I’ve been working toward based on one other person’s triumph. And then the self-doubt kicks in. The little voice in the back of my head telling me that it’s already been done, so why even try? I’ll never be able to accomplish the things that someone else has.
What could I possibly have to write about or say that hasn’t already been covered? What could I do for my clients that another coach couldn’t do better? I just don’t have what it takes.
When I see a mother mom being so patient with her children after I just ended another screaming match with mine. When I see another blogger slaying it on social media and I’m pretty sure no one even sees my posts. It’s endless.
But the truth is, those are lies. All too often we let fear and jealousy stand in our own way when we know quite well that we are more than capable. Or we see how well someone is doing and we completely forget all the blessings we already have. Isn’t it silly how sometimes we can let someone else’s something good make us forget our own something good?
When we stop concentrating on what we have and what we’re doing and start believing the lies that we’ll never be good enough, then all we’re doing is setting ourselves up for failure.
I know we’re all guilty of doing this. Maybe some of us more than others, but I feel there are a couple good lessons to learn from this:
- We should always be cheering on women for succeeding; even if it’s in an area we also want to excel in. I really don’t see any other option here. This world can be a difficult place, especially as women. When we see someone really going after what they want in life, and they get it (or even if they don’t get it), we should stand up and applaud them.
- There is always room. For every single one of us. Even if we feel it’s already been done, because it’s never been done OUR way. The story has never been told from our voice. There is room for all of us on top of the mountain.
- Our mental health is top priority. If there are people you’re following on social media who aren’t bringing happiness or value to your life, unfollow them.
The point is, there is no one else in this world exactly like you. Or me. Or any of us. We are all uniquely unique in our own way, and it doesn’t matter if other people have what we want, or are succeeding in areas we dream about. (Mushy Alert) If we work hard and keep pushing forward and never give up, we too, are capable of having what we want in life.
We just need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Stop comparing what they have to what we may or may not have. We need to count our blessings and keep moving forward. And for the love of everything good, we have to stop caring what other people think.
Here are some special things that I know to be true and unique about myself:
- I’m really, really good at starting IVs. Random, perhaps. True? Absolutely.
- I’m super-efficient at putting together items that come with instructions (like shelves and other furniture pieces, toys, etc.)
- I always say a prayer whenever I see an emergency vehicle heading off somewhere with lights and sirens, and that’s a trait I really like about myself.
- I’ve been published in a book, although it happened when I was about 10 – I wrote a poem and it won a contest and ended up in a book that I never ended up getting a copy of. So I guess it probably doesn’t count for much, except every now and then I think to myself that it’s out there somewhere.. words of perception from little ole’ me at the ripe wise age of 10.
- I’m a speed reader. Once, on a seven-day vacation with my husband, I read 5 or 6 books. I can’t remember because I lost count because I was too busy grabbing the next book.
I may not have a million Instagram followers. I may not be the most patient mother in the world, or always have my laundry put away, or take the time to clean my mirrors before posting a mirror selfie on social media. But that’s okay. I am blessed, I am talented, I love and I am loved. I am done comparing myself to others
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